Blog?

Its been a while since I've written anything. That's how all my post's/writtings end up starting out. It has been a while. I remember when I used to write everyday. I'm sure it wasn't that interesting, but I think it helped. Not sure what... keep my thoughts in some sort or order?

Its been a long couple of years...month's...

A few big moves, crazy landlords which attributed to the moves. Changing jobs because of lack of money. Lots of animals, of which is the only thing hat keeps me sane.

I feel so...hmm.

I'm so out of sorts and don't feel like myself at all. It's been a while since I've felt like myself. I'm sick of being disappointed, I don't think that the feeling is very becoming of me. It generally makes me frustrated. I don't know if its completely disappointment or lack of control...

Things keep happening that are completely unnecessary, and random. I keep getting in trouble for everyone else, and I have nothing to prove who I really am. Have I lost myself. I've never really had a grasp on who I am, but this certainly doesn't help. I doubt that there is anything that could help me. I keep finding myself wishing for things to just go well for a change. That's all, just well.

It'd be nice to have more then a week of feeling like things are going in a good direction, only to have something completely insane happening. We thought we found a good place to live and we'd stay there for a while. They were crazy and ripping us off for money, then they tried to break in. Month's of harassment, turning power on and off, blasting music, banging on walls.

Now we're facing landlords that don't care to fix any of the things wrong with the house we've moved into. Charged $500 more on an electric bill then a 10 room house would be paying for a faulty fridge. Car is/was going to shit.

I'm supporting myself, my boyfriend and our dogs, cats, and ferrets. The only thing that brightens my day is my animals. Finally he might have a job. Which relieves some stress. It's been a good year since he's had a full time job... or a job for that matter. AND he WAS trying. It's so aggravating to feel so helpless and lost.

I'm sick of cops and their greed, and lack of true honesty and protection and prosecution of the real criminals in society. Heavens forbid they start arresting people how hurt others and are selling heroin and crack to children. God forbid something is done about this shit hole we call a country because everything has to be so cut and dry. Left and right. Black and white. right and wrong. good and bad. here and gone.

UGH. I will hopefully be posting more and having the thought process to write things down and keep it up. Maybe not everyday, but hopefully not once a month, or year for that matter.

Just looking for some... luck?